Warning: The following is an attempt at humor.
I’ve been reading a lot of science books lately (some say too many) and I’ve discovered some startling facts.
1. There is a corollary to the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle which states that one can never know both the exact venue and the performance date of a U2 DVD edit. Not many people know this outside of the small circle of the world’s top physicists.
2. A recently unearthed manuscript has been found to contain a variation of the famous Schrödinger's Cat thought experiment that proves Bono sang both “wild wind” and “whirlwind” in
Street Mission. This led to the development of a quite obscure branch of physics called “Quantum Bonamics”.
It seems we can only assign a probability and not a certainty to any transcription. Bono’s mumbles turn out to be wave functions! Gadzooks!
3. Even more shocking is another little known fact which was recently hacked from Stephen Hawking’s computer: The Claw contains a secret Time Machine located under the stage that Willie Williams invented for advanced editing of live shows. It was first used on the Wide Awake In Europe EP but my guess is they’ll be using it a lot more to compensate for the time constraints that certain extra-U2 projects have imposed on future releases.
But knowing Bono (that trickster) don’t be too surprised the next time you watch your Red Rocks DVD if you find a snippet from one of this summer’s shows…or Michael J. Fox in a mullet taking a solo during Electric Co. Even your bootlegs aren’t safe.!
Don’t take your collection for granted!
Officially only a very few people know this--- U2.com Black Hole members only.
To qualify for Black Hole membership one must have invested a minimum of 5 million dollars in Spiderman.
Hawking has suggested to Bono that he use their Time Machine to go back in time to a period just before the Big Bang and return and explain what really happened. More likely he’ll go back and practice guitar.
So don’t be surprised if U2 plays a cover of The Allman Brothers Band “Whipping Post” when they play Glastonbury and Bono nails a 15-minute guitar solo that surpasses both Duane Allman and Dickey Betts.
Sound impossible? Not in this particular U2inverse we live in…
